We don't live life. Life lives us.
We don't walk the path, the path walks us.
We don't dance, life dances us.
We don't love, we are love.
Let go.
Surrender
Surrender to the nothingness
that is life,
that is you,
that is being.
Ta tha ta
While at Mayoli farm I was reading a lot of Masanobu Fukuoka on natural farming and his philosophy on living as a natural being.
He talks of the nothingness, oneness, emptiness, the truth. All words that try to reach for this essence of truth that all is.
He refers to it using the Zen term 'Mu'
For about two weeks I was the only volunteer at the farm and was spending a lot of time on my own. While meditating I found it really helpful to remind myself to 'surrender to the nothingness '
This empty void that is the truth, that our minds try so hard to run away from. Our minds are always searching for more meaning, for a greater purpose, for more to do, more to become.
Sometimes I could surrender. And feel at peace in the emptiness.
But it also brought up inner tension built from a life of resisting that surrender.
I found myself feeling lonely and vulnerable in this space.
Feeling lonely in the nothingness.
The ego craving for something more than the simple truth.
While throughout my life I've thought myself to be very non emotional I tried instead to stay with this pain. And to remain open and honest about these fears inside to myself and others.
I set an intention to leave my heart open and remain vulnerable.
We all are one, all are facing the same struggles, searching for meaning, for purpose. Causing ourselves and others so much suffering.
And the one causing all this suffering is not even us, its the ego, only to be observed and not to be taken personally.
Opening up this vulnerability brought out a lot of tears and a lot of compassion for each human living with this fear and uncertainty that stems from the ego.
I met back up with colleen at the end of this and she helped a lot in providing the open compassionate space to let me feel comfortable in my vulnerability.
I made a commitment to remain vulnerable. In all situations to remain true. To dance when I feel like dancing, to sing when I feel like singing, and to cry when I feel like crying. Not being concerned with judgements from others, being vulnerable to whether they receive what I open up to give.
And when we make ourselves vulnerable it opens the space for the world around us to open up as well to receive and give back. It gives the courage for those layers and divisions to be stripped away that keep us from all sharing in being.
As we cycled away from kasar devi after being reunited all just was.
I was full of lightness, cycling downhill singing, making silly sounds, yelling Namaste to everyone I saw.
If I was approaching others I continued singing and being silly. Rather than holding back in fear of judgement. Remaining completely open and without fear. Sharing in this joy of being.
I felt this joy spread to others, the simplicity of interactions that occur without barriers and divisions.
I would like to encourage us all to be more vulnerable, to question these fears of judgement that stem from seeing us all as individuals and start to see that we are a reflection of the world around us. We are the world around us.
Cry, dance, sing, love, be silly.
Being is infectious.
LA DE DAH
TA THA TA
Andddd
Muah!!
Love
Xoxo ;)
For the past month we have been volunteering at an organic farm in Almora district in Uttarakhand called Mayoli organic farm.
Mayoli is run by the man who does everything, (with the help and support of his loving family) Pankaj Bhakuni. The farm is on his family's ancestral land in the jungle next to the Binsar Forest reserve.
The ultimate purpose of the farm here is to serve as a seed bank and reserve for traditional seeds and rare plants, especially those of medicinal value. And to serve as an education center for preserving traditional knowledge and ways of living in harmony with the land and each other.
Pankaj also has a new shop and food processing center set up below his house in Basoli where he sells local organic products from Mayoli and other nearby farmers.
He is doing all of this to provide a means of income for farmers in the hills so they have some incentive to stay and live in a sustainable harmonious way.
Throughout Uttarakhand there is a rapid shift of people from the hills uprooting from their ancestral land and moving to the cities to find higher paying work so they can try to live the life that is promoted in the media. Leaving behind the simple farming past of their ancestors and the knowledge of how to survive and thrive in deep connection with the land. The cities in turn are expanding dramatically and with it material consumption and pollution while the hills are full of abandoned farms, remnants of a more peaceful past.
For those that are still farming it has become much more difficult. The native broadleaf forest, full of diversity has been largely taken over be invasive pine planted during British occupation. The pine grow in vast monoculture and are much hotter and dryer than the native forest. Forest fires have become increasingly problematic each dry season, burning up any chances of native plant regeneration that wasn't lost from over grazing. Pine forests provide little for animals to eat and have resulted in large increases in difficulties for farmers to protect crops from wild animals. Pankaj says that before all of this there were more animals, more people in the hills, and more than enough food growing in the fields and forests for all. At Mayoli monkeys, deer, and wild boar have become frequent visitors to the farm and protecting crops has been made more challenging.
These difficulties along with the glamorization of city life in the media are pushing this shift off the land. Pankaj is working to provide options for those that want to stay, creating a market for farm products and encouraging the continuation of traditional sustainable farming practices.
Stepping through the gate to Mayoli after the 3 km hike up through the pine forest everything becomes much more green, even in the hight of dry season. Oak trees are growing in abundance mixed in with fields full of beans, vegetables, fruits, grains, herbs, and fruit and nut trees mixed throughout.
6 years ago this land was largely barren and overgrazed but since it's been closed the native vegetation is rapidly returning.
Multiple streams and natural ponds now retain their water year round whereas they were dry outside of the monsoon season before.
The farm provides an example for how nature strives to bring balance and harmony. It can show surrounding landowners how they can heal the land and provides the reserve of native plant species for when the interest arises.
While here we spent our time watering, cooking, planting, weeding, composting, mulching, harvesting, and processing. With space in between for much yoga, meditation and reading. We learned about medicinal uses of different Himalayan plants and harvesting and processing of different herbs and produce.
A wonderful Nepal family is now staying up here as care takers of the place so Pankaj has more time for other work down below. We got the chance to become close with them and learn from their curious energetic kids! The kids spend their days running barefoot around the farm together, helping their parents and us out with chores, watching after the animals, harvesting and eating berries, smelling and tasting plants, and sitting all together on their mothers lap. From observing them there seems to be no better or more natural way for a child to grow up.
Living at the farm makes us feel more connected to the natural cycle of give and take. Taking in energy from the land around us as food and then putting that energy back into the land through actions that encourage further life here.
All is simple.
It's so easy to get caught up in that push for doing. Doing more. Expanding further.
But if our needs could be met by such a simple way of life why is there such a push for anything else? Do this extra things, extra tasks bring more fulfillment or just more clutter and imbalance?
Maybe farming and other simple tasks of self sustainance was all we ever really had to do....
Each farming experience for me has me feel confident that this is all I really need to be doing. Has me feeling ready to settle down on one piece of land and begin to live in harmony with it.
Yet for now we are still here in northern India, not in a place to settle with much to be learned through connections made with those we will meet along the cycle journey. Using the journey and its challenges to greater internalize the oneness inside and around us.
We head off from the farm at the end of May to make out way west towards Spiti valley and Ladakh. Having little expectations but to remain open to what is.
Pankaj much in need of long term passionate volunteers whether it be in farm work, education, product processing, or in more technical media work.
If someone doesn't have the time to volunteer but would still like to support this project there is also a need for monetary donations.
You can visit the farm website at:
https://www.facebook.com/HIMALAYANETHNOBOTANICGARDEN/
Or email Pankaj: bhakuni_pankaj@yahoo.com
Or if you are in India you can call Pankaj at: +91 7830514041
While staying at Adnan and Prianka's I was able to spend some time learning under a Guru to understand more deeply yoga as a way of living. Aside from the many lessons I had learned and those yet to come I would like to share a bit of yogic roots.
The practice and livelihood of yoga has long standing roots stemming from self realization. Yoga, Yuj or Yug means civilization as its practice leads humans to the ultimate goal of higher consciousness to better the society.
As the first Yuj teacher, Krishna began to question the purpose of being after 80 years of living in this civilization that only seemed to cycle around eating, sleeping and mating, the same characteristics of all life. Up until the point of homeosapins (as far as we are aware) species have not really troubled themselves with this question of purpose- looking for something more than these basic aspects of living and surviving. Due to homeosapins further developed mind this questioning began and answers seeked to be found.
** From this point this characteristic of the mind could have become a gift or a poison depending on how we decide to use it.
With this questioning becoming more and more persistent within Krishna's mind he left for the remote mountains to find the answer. Finally returning after a few decades (sages generally living to about 150 years) he had found the truth. This truth is portrayed in the Bhagavad Gita (check out this book in its translations). The essence of this discussion on the battle field between Lord Krishna and Warrior Arjuna sheds light on the truth of being- that is the same as any other being/species but since this developed mind has been evolved there is now this awareness of the universal law, an awareness of the mind, body and soul and the natural forces/elements. To attend to this awareness, a higher conscious is needed in which Krishna portrays. He lays the foundation for how humans can live in harmony with nature, to see oneself/this species as a part of and not separate from.
It is up to humanity to decide how we want to use our minds. We now have a clear picture and reality of what happens when we decide not to use this gift of a developed mind, which was to lead the universe further down its evolutionary path with a higher consciousness/awareness but instead becomes undeveloped in comparison to all other species.
However since we have evolved from and through nature we still very much contain the same elements that are present in every form. Since humans as a species have acquired this developed mind it is our responsibility to use it wisely, to live under the universal laws that govern all life while cultivating this awareness and oneness. We have the ability to become aware of this higher consciousness through mindfulness.
To evolve in this journey of mindfulness is to allow the universe to evolve.
Some really great resources to seek out if you are interested in this truth and cultivating peace of mind:
*Eckhart Tolle- many of his books are good but I really found A New Earth to be eye opening, mind opening and stinkin great! Ooo and also listen to his online talks
*Thich Nhat Hanh- really is able to put things simply and as they are. Does a lot with self-love... and who doesn't want to love themself?! Well actually he guides one to love their being that is actually a reflection of the universe.. but anyways!
*Fukuoka- Japanese natural farmer and green philosopher. One straw revolution is amazing
*Vipassana- type of meditation
*Dalai Llama- of course... shows such strength and joy in times of constant struggle and sorrow
*Bhagavad Gita (reading)
*Siddartha (reading)
*doyogawithme.com- really great website for free classes including: Yoga, guided meditation, breathing and more!
*friends&family
*nature!!!
*YOU!:)- you are your own greatest teacher... your own guru
Without a second thought the home was opened up to us with no intended date of departure questioned. This is the space that has been cultivated at Adnans' family home overlooking Sat Tal (tal:lake) near Bhowali. With the family residing in Delhi, only visiting every few months, Prianka (Adnans partner) and Adnan mainly live here. Only moving in around a year back they already have plans to cultivate this space and essence of selfless giving and harmony even further. Having access to quite a bit of land around the house the vision and now proceeding plans are to rejuvenate the presently pine dominated forest that has been planted and widely spread during British rule. With some earth work and about 2,000 tree holes Adnan and Prianka's HealFarm is now underway (although they would not want me to refer to it as theirs as it belongs to no one and offers space for anyone). The vision for the farm is to be non-monetary based where people come and stay bringing a ration of some sort to help in supporting the community and share their energy through helping, learning, teaching and being. Since they can explain it better I would encourage you to checkout their website at http://www.heal.farm/ which also can lead you to their Facebook page.
Coming back to the house twice (once with Erin and then separately) provided growth in such unexpected ways that allowed me to see (and continue to see) that lessons can be found in every experience. These lessons tend to be the same but present different routes to acknowledging and becoming aware of the essence of life, which seems to be... to just be. As situations arise and pass our minds tend to respond in patterned ways based on how we have been conditioned over time. However realizing that one has the ability to discontinue these habitual patterns of the mind, to gradually release these constructs that society has created and we have placed ourselves in. This is where true freedom is found as our minds make up how we perceive the world.
The act of selfless giving is a continued lesson that breaks down constructs and expectations... The true balance of give a take. Adnan and Prianka show this effortlessly as it has become so rooted in their beings. This is shown through their non-attachment from material goods to time and space that they offer... where their is no mine and yours. All becomes one. Attachment is only created to keep the ego alive and happy... ironically when the ego is happy one generally is in misery. We all have the capacity to take and the ability to give. Give in a way where you don't expect anything in return, take with gratitude and start to see as this constant flow of energy becomes one.
Through his way of being and sharing, Adnan has showed me how one can be a reflection of the universe and Prianka has allowed me to see that we are all a reflection of one another.
It all comes down to the simple lesson just to be :)
Ladedah and enjoy every moment as it is
It has been quite a while since posting... we do apologize but also feel that we only want to post when we can benefit others in the stories we share and the lessons we learn. Although we are learning everyday... from the people around us, the place we are in and ourselves the teachings that life offers doesn't always show itself right away.
Since returning back from Nepal Erin and I have been together and apart... spending time on a permaculture farm/ forest restoration project in Basoli and with some dear friends in Bhowali Uttrakand. In the next coming posts we want to talk about these people and projects going on in more depth because they are stinkin awesome!!
I think what has been keeping me from posting has been the shifting mindsets within the journey of mindfulness. One evening when Erin and I were apart we were talking on the phone and both agreed that it may be easier to practice mindlessness instead haha. This journey inwards (that is just as much as a journey outwards as both are one) can be tiresome and scary. Allowing for the space, that can feel like emptiness at first, to be. Space is an element that makes up all things. We are all the expansion of space... feel the space... let it fill you:)
Now with further intention I would like to practice playful mindfulness to keep the lightness present.
It isn't so helpful to tell of my experiences within this journey as every being experiences the path in a different way. However even though each part of the universe has its own path, its own dharma, the ultimate goal of mukti is the same where true harmony and oneness is realized through awareness. We are each a part of the whole within this universe and as such are a reflection of the universe. We each contain the same elements that are within every form... earth, air, fire, water and space. These elements were created along with the creation of the universe and as life has evolved these same elements make up each being. So...
How can you not be beauty when the universe is reflected through You?
How could you not be divine when you are a mirror of the universe?
How could you not be truth when the universal truths form your being?
We are each given a gift by the universe to share and give to others.
How will you walk on this earth?
Like a standpeed of elephants that messages the earth?
Or
Lightly pacing in discontent?
How will you walk on this earth?
Skipping childlike in sync with each vibrational bound?
Or
A mindless early morning stroll?
Hmm... ladedahdedah:) as it is!
Be kind to yourself, love yourself.. as you are a reflection of the universe and we are each a reflection of one another.
