What am I doing?

The battle in the mind is hard to overcome. Even when one is aware of this tension, questioning, and thought that is created in the mind it is difficult to find simplicity and peace in these moments, leaving one feeling stuck. 
Lately, due to some stomach issues and a injured elbow, we have not been able to cycle for some days and instead were blessed to stay with a family in Pune giving us our first feel of Maharashtrian culture.  Kedar is a cyclist who we found on warm showers (like couch surfing for cycle tourists) who was able to host us. Kedar has a beautiful family with two lovely daughters who we have been able to connect with. They are similar in age to us...22 and 26 and have a way of strength and confidence about them.
However while here I find myself questioning what I am even doing here... what my purpose is...
As we have reiterated in prior posts, the Indian people go above and beyond in their hospitality without a second thought. This type of giving is a gift to learn from but has also been a challenge to continuously accept.  The balance of give and take feels to be falling to one side with so much being given to us and the inability to give back in equal share. I know that Kedar would say "Atithi Devo Bhava" meaning Guest is God and that it is there pleasure to account for our safety, comfort, needs and share with us their home and culture. We also found such deep Atithi Devo Bhava while taking a couple day trip to Aurangabad some 230km from Pune to visit the caves and a mutual friend. Here we were faced again with the challenge of how to truly give back as we were shown around the many sites of Aurangabad and invited to celebrate Holi with a wonderful family. This warmth and care is so very much appreciated but their is always a pull to want to give back in kind and often times this pull is filled with 'thank you's.' 'Thank you's' in India as well as many other Asian cultures are an uncommon phrase and definitely overused by foreigners. As our true appreciation cannot be expressed for everything we are receiving there is a feeling of everlasting need to give back.... to create this balance of give and take. This is where I find my mind questioning my reason for being here as this need to give back overwhelms me. Questions like, 'shouldn't I be helping, contributing, giving in a way more meaningful?' 'Why am I just taking and not giving?' 'What am I doing here?'....

Remembering what mom said in her farewell letter..."the best gift you can give someone is your time because you are giving them something that you can never get back."  When looking at it in this way the balance feels equal with each interaction- words that are exchanged to smiles given and pictures shared. 
Honestly this still doesn't seem totally sufficient for all that they have given haha so Erin and I often try to prepare dinner for the families we stay with when we can.
Tonight's menu... millet veg stir fry and carrot ginger soup!:)

Our purpose is to just be in the moment that we are given..  take that moment and give positive energy back in what ever way we can.
Positive energy from our beings to those around us through smiles, waves, words, acknowledgment, etc.
Positive energy from our beings to the world around us through respect and love for all beings... human, non-human, living, non-living
Live in the give and take of all things.

The warmth and love we are given doesn't have to be given back directly but rather can be passed forward down the road:)

Breath in and take in the oxygen given to you from the trees, the plants, the life around you.
Breath out and give life to the trees, the plants through carbon dioxide.
Feel this harmonious exchange of give and take and appreciate it's oneness.

Detaching, questioning, LA de dah

The past couple weeks have brought our journey through some shifts in thinking and in direction.

I've been going through a lot of questioning with myself and with colleen about the journey we are on. Questioning what is our purpose and  if my heart is really here. Often just wondering, 'what is the point?' And thinking a lot about home.

I'm trying to be honest with myself and with colleen and addressing these more difficult questions and learning from seeking for the answers.
And I guess the same goes for everyone throughout our lives, wondering why we are here, and what we should be doing in this life.
But I find travelling, and specifically times of transition bring up the most questioning and difficulty. That feeling of emptiness and aimlessness as we move from one phase of life to another. 

Colleen started to get sick a couple of weeks ago just after we left Hampi in Karnataka.  Up until then we had been cycling the whole journey from the southern tip of India in Kanyakumari.
On a hot stretch of highway with few villages and little traffic other than long distance trucks she started to feel nauseous and ended up vomiting up her lunch. We flagged down a shared jeep, threw our cycles on top and went into the next city to find a lodge where she could get some rest.

In this small junction city with very little going on and a lack of the usual community vibe we had become accustomed to I felt a bit stuck and anxious to be somewhere else yet still holding on to the possibility of continuing cycling on from there up to Pune.
I spent the next day filled with tension, trying not to let it show to colleen who already felt bad enough... finally we decided to take a bus to Pune the next day. Colleens stomach was still giving her trouble and she wouldn't be able to have real energy to ride, and definitely not enough to really enjoy it. The summer was coming on too fast for us to be staying put though. ...

On the bus ride north I spent some time reflecting on how this transition was making me feel. How I had difficulty letting go of the potential to be cycling the entire length of India and how that difficulty was primarily due to my ego.
In a way letting go of this need to cycle the entire stretch gave freedom, it cut the attachment to this larger idea and goal of the journey and gave more space to be honest and present in the moment. 

In Pune we stayed with Kedar Gogte and his wonderful family who welcomed us in at the last moment. Kedar met us at the bus stop in the evening and we rode together back to his house. Right before we got there I had a silly fall riding up a ramp onto a side walk and hurt my elbow, preventing me from being able to put enough pressure on it to cycle for a few days.

Since we now needed more time to heal we decided to take a night bus the next  over to Aurangabad for side trip to visit Ellora caves.
On the bus ride my head was feeling really itchy and I found some bugs in my hair that I must have picked up from a cheap lodge we had stayed in recently.
Yahooie!
The next morning I cut off my dreads with a knife and put them in a burning pile in a parking lot. We then cut my hair down further and got rid of the lice with some ayurdevic oils and did some clothing decontamination that involved us both wrapping sheets around ourselves and being restricted to the hostel room.
I didn't want to touch the bed until every insect was sure to be gone.

Cutting off my hair I found to be another release of the identity I had started to form for myself with it. I was surprised to feel some regret in cutting my hair and almost  less beautiful, like I'd lost some of my femininity with the reduced length of my hair.... but stripping off that extra layer that I identified with was ultimately freeing. 

These accumulated experiences in shifts of thinking about this trip and about ourselves brought a lot of reflection on what direction we wanted to take from there.

A large part of me has been pulling towards home feeling a need to become more connected to my family and community. I've been learning so much from the high value people here put on community and family and sometimes feel anxious to not be contributing to my own.

A recent phone conversation with my dad gave extra excitement for all the great community building work going on near home and all the potential for more! I'd like to continue to try and learn from ways of living and thinking here that could have a positive impact at home.

With still some questioning and rehtinking in mind we decided to take a bus north to Ahmedabad in Gujarat and continue cycling from there into Rajasthan, up to mount abu and Udaipur where we are now.

Now we'll be continuing north to Pushkar tomorrow to take part in a 10 day Vipassana meditation course! 10 days of sitting in silence should sort our silly anxieties and have us more at peace with ourselves and this journey :)

LA de dah de dah de dah ...

Kana hosahalli

Cycling up the highway as evening approaches we are told there is a nice big village ahead named Kana Hosahalli. We don't have much concern for the availability of tourist accommodation. If there is a village then we are confident that there are plenty of friendly hospitable people that can help us find a safe place to sleep and get food into our bellies.

We are tired but know that we need to prepare ourselves mentally to maintain energy when we reach the village in order to give back all that we will be receiving.

We cycle into the village on a dirt path coming in from the side through small streets past homes with everyone outside staring in curiousity as we say hello and continue towards the direction of what seems like the center.
On the main street we are greeted by men playing drums for a small festival and bustling people, bikes,  and buses.
The commotion is initially a bit overwhelming and Colleen quickly spots a couple smiling at us from the front steps of their home. We cycle up to them and are quickly surrounded by children and adults all curious as to what we are doing.

We say hello and Colleen takes out her notebook with some sentences in Kannada describing what we are doing and what we are looking for.
'We are two sisters travelling through India by bicycle'
'We don't know where we will sleep tonight '
'Can you help us to find a safe place to put our tent, either on a rooftop, field, etc. Or we could also stay in a home if there is space' ... etc.

Colleen attempts reading the difficult kannada words out to everyone while one girl comes behind and reads out over her shoulder so everyone understands. 

There is much excitement, smiling, and chatting and then they indicate we could sleep at the temple and to follow them.
I confirm 'temple tent putting?', 'safe-ah?'
And we turn around after people back up enough to make space and we follow a group of children and an elder woman down some back streets to a small temple in the center of the village surrounded by homes. 

We get a brief glimpse of the temple and the platform in front they indicate we can put our tent on before we are surrounded. Word seems to be spreading fast of our arrival and the whole village is coming to see us.
The next hour is a bit of a blur, answering repeated questions of 'what is your name?', questions about if we've eaten, if we would like tea or coffee, where we are from, etc. But mostly just a lot of excited chatter in a language we can't understand.
Rather than making us feel overwhelmed or stressed we feel calm and safe in the center of this circle. Confident that with so many interested people we will be safe and taken care of for the night.

We realize that unless we start unpacking and doing something everyone will continue to stare and crowd around so we take out the tent and bring it to the platform, confirming we can put it there and then encouraging everyone to back up so we can have space to put it up. We nearly poke many on lookers with the poles as no one seems to want to back up too much.
One woman comes in and starts yelling at the children to shoo them back and a man starts blowing a whistle every 30 seconds or so, another elder woman is throwing water at the kids to get them to back up. Trying to bring more control but only adding to the chaos.
We are brought tea twice during the tent set up process and take breaks to sit down and drink where the crowd quickly surrounds us again .
Everyone is asking about 'oota' (food) and there is much excitement about us liking ragi mudai and it is confirmed that someone is going to cook in their home for us.
Young children fight their way in and nervously ask our name, our fathers name, our mothers name, our brothers name, sisters,  etc.

We recently learned how to ask the same in Kannada so we have a lot of chances to practice.

Colleen goes to check on our luggage which is out of sight due to the crowd and finds our cycles being wheeled away into the closed off area in front of someone home. Some adults having taken responsibility for their safety.
We take off our bags and make our way back through the crowd to the tent and one girl catches me and explains that one woman is offering for us to come stay in her home. That she has a room, we can eat there, and it will be more peaceful.

Sheila, in her purple sari, quiet calm and unassuming is pointed out to us as the woman who has invited us. She is the same woman who colleen had spotted at the beginning smiling with her husband on her front steps. She must have perceived that we could use a bit of a more calm space to rest!
I confirm with her and tell colleen. So down goes the tent with more encouraging the crowd to back up so they will remain safe with the long poles. We get our bikes back out, clip our bags back on and follow Sheila back to her home.

Much of the crowd follows us with young boys holding on to the cycles with us and pushing from behind. All chanting 'OOO' in unison.

We get led out of the chaos and into the quiet of Sheila's home. They put out chairs for us to sit, let us take a nice cool bucket shower in their bathroom, and we spend the time before dinner getting to know their extended family with close friends popping in to say hello and hear our story as well.
We are immensely grateful to their family for opening up the peaceful comfort of their home.

We all have dinner together family style and find Sheila to be the most amazing cook in South India! Even the ragi mudai, so simple and consistent tastes better. She cooks a sambar full of greens and flavor, delicious veggies with mung dal  sprouts, home made pickle, curd, and rice. All followed by a snack of the cutest little bananas we've ever seen!

Dinner has really hit the spot and we are feeling really full and sleepy.
Before sleeping we first go over to Sheila's brothers home where we sit on their couch and take some photos. Her brothers wife is very excited to have us there and he tells us that our arrival is like the 'feeling of a festival' to her. She puts on her best sari and we take photos together before saying goodnight.

We then go back and sleep so amazingly well.
In the morning they insist on breakfast as well and we get home cooked masala dosas made for us as well as some packed away for us to have on the road.

All of this and Sheila is so happy and grateful just to get to share her home with us. Wanting to give more and to have us stay longer.
We take her information down and promise to call.
We take many photos together and say thank you too many times as all of this hospitality only seems natural to them, it's not something they feel the need to be thanked for or to recieve anything from.

We cycle away with warm hearts and full bellies, waving goodbye one last time before turning the corner.
Feeling a strengthened confidence in the kindness of people and our mode of travel.
The smiles and warmth continue down the road all the way to Hampi :)

Cyclinginging

Cycling day to day with an early start of about 6:30 to 7 and winding down around 5 to 6 has flowed seamlessly into one another. The semi planned out route from South to North India is only looked at in these day to day portions and so in this way nothing seems too overwhelming or too much.
Although thoughts tend to wander here and there while pedaling through villages or on the highway, the length of day is really the only foresight.
Sitting now in Hampi, a historical heritage site, with a couple days of rest after some days of a 100 plus kilometer rides feels nice a reflective. The air is not as dry in the plain here with rice paddies and small lakes with a light breeze that cools the skin in the baking heat of the sun.
I feel peaceful in this moment.

Enjoy these reflections if you would like:)

While cycling on a national highway heading to Belur we stopped on a village to filter some water (nedu in Karnataka language).  There was a marriage celebration going on where everyone from the village and maybe neighboring areas were dressed up and enjoying. When arriving or passing through different places we are often greeted by many curious people circling around, looking and asking questions.
Filtering water is quite the show as many people have never seen this contraption. People young and old all surround as we sit and filter... sweat often accumulating with each forceful pump. Sometimes people want to try and pump and so we gratefully show them how and share the work:)
It is neat to hear our story being passed around the people as we catch glimpses of words such as Kanniyakumari (where we started the journey) and cycle. All the while we are being asked questions like, what is your name? What is your native place? What are you doing here? Don't you get tired cycling so much? What does your father do? What is your father's name? All of these questions are recited in broken English with our response being simple and easy to understand.
Are you married or do you have a husband are also common questions but this time following this question a young man asked "what do you look for in a boy?"
Erin and I chuckled a bit at this question and upon answering the young man next to the other promptly hushed the crowd to be able to hear more clearly. This was quite funny haha as if our response was of deep importance.  With the people listening with attentive curiosity we said, they have to be kind and respectful.. of themselves and of others, see the equality between men and women, if they like to cook that is great and they have to like to dance and be silly :)

There is not much chance of going through an area without being seen haha
This becomes more apparent when there is a space of distance between Erin and I as we cycle into or through a new place. Without even a word being shared aside from a hello and/or smile we are instantly pointed in the direction of one another. For example upon entering into Chitadurga Erin was a bit ahead and so I continued straight into the city. Right away I heard shouting from behind. Turning around to see what was being said a man pointed back towards a hotel across the street with Erin's cycle leaned up against the post. :)

We are blessed to sense hunger and feel excited in anticipation for a simple meal of idly or dosa found very frequently on the roadsides. Stopping midmorning for idly at a hotel shack we were given each a metal plate with three pods of idly and creamy coconut chutney. Often times somber is occapanied with this meal as well and so Erin injured about getting some if it was avaliable. Promptly without hesitation the women grabbed a cup and walked over to a nearby shack. Soon after she came back with a cup full of somber dividing it between our plates completing the meal. This simple act stood out as there was no need for extra thanks or recognition. People going out of their way to help one another is just the norm and seen as no big deal.

Below are some pictures of Hampi, our stay with families, and roadside stops:)

Have a nice day and go slowly

Just to watch a child's eyes as they observe the world around them is a lesson to embrace. Before the eyes have connected stories or judgments on things being seen, noises heard or essence felt. Here you can so vividly make out the pure truth within a non- (societal) constructed mind.
While guests are winding down from being served a deliciously prepared meal, chatting and toasting, Gwendolyn sits on her father's lap, calm and present.  Every so often she is asked to say something to the guests... to show off her use of words but without a response she simply glances around the room.... just looking.
That's it... just looking.
Her eyes are wide open and when you look at her you can see for a moment what she sees if you allow it.
Again, you can see the world as it is not as you are.  
Through a child's eyes we can see the truth.

Thank you Gwendolyn for this ever needed reminder of how to observe the world around me.
And for the message you gave us:
"Have a nice day and go slowly."

We are grateful to have been able to stay with Christy, Rachel and their family while spending a few days in Mysore. Being able to see the musical side and explore the beauties of mysore was wonderful. We hope to see you all again! 

Oota Aitu?

Oota  Aitu?
Kannada for 'have you eaten?'

Cycling through all the villages waving hello, sharing smiles and eye contact. Whether we are still moving or stopped to talk one of the first questions we always receive is 'oota aitu?'  People we pass by are always looking at us and making the gesture of putting their hand to their mouth eating food or drinking tea. Indian hospitality reaches out towards us in every direction.

I think that Karnataka us my favorite state in India for food. Largely due to something called 'ragi mudai ' or ragi ball. It's a big brown ball made or millet flour that is eaten as the base of a meal with a soupy sambar, vegetables,  and pickle.

I really like to feed my body what will make it feel the best and what is the least energy intensive to produce so I get really excited about millets! They are the more traditional grain of the region, growing easily in more dry climates and are much more nutritious than rice.

Rice and wheat has taken over as the more desirable grain, with millets being seen more as the poor man's food so whenever we ask about ragi everyone is really surprised and excited. Soon everyone around knows that we like ragi mudai with hand gestures that imply holding a big ball in their hands. We have exchanges with very little words showing how ragi is great because it makes us strong and healthy!

While eating everyone around is watching, making sure we are doing it right. You are not supposed to chew the ball, just break a piece off, soak it in sambar or dab a bit of pickle in it and set it on your tounge and swallow. If we chew everyone is quick to call us out and we sometimes have to sneak a quick one in if we want to give more time for the flavor to sink into our taste buds. 
One night we stayed on the rooftop of a shared apartment complex and a girl staying there made us ragi mudai. A young girl next door was showing us how to eat it, taking a little piece setting on her to tounge, swallowing then showing off her empty mouth. Next she took some vegetable and showed us chewing, then swallowing. In case we didn't know how to eat that either.
It really just seems to make people really happy that we love to eat this traditional food!
And it's so cheap, nutritious, and simple!

And then of course there are the dosas! Ghee roasted masala dosas being our favorite. Crispy pancakes made of a fermented rice and dal batter stuffed with masala vegetables and served with coconut chutney and sambar. They never get old. 
I don't know what we'll do without them up north!

For when we are feeling something more simple there is also idli. Made of the same batter as dosa but steamed in little patties that soak up sambar and chutney.

And fresh coconut water from guys on the side of the road at 30 cents a coconut!

Ooo! And our favorite snack of jaggery peanut bars that they have in all the little shops. Satisfying our typical American craving for peanut butter.

Speaking of all this food... Oota aitu? Have you eaten?
Otherwise all this talk might be making you hungry!
:)